Significance Of The Title - 13 Reasons Why.

I have only started reading this book and I can't seem to put it down. I am now starting to have a fancy for fiction books.Who knew I would even be into reading so much. I have not gone so far with the book but from my prospective I think the author titled this book thirteen (13) reasons why because of the cassette tapes that Hannah had left behind, for people on her list to listen to after her death. These apparently will review why she died. I think this was a great title for the book because you get an idea of what the book is about even before you actually get into the reading. In my mind, I simplified it as thirteen (13) cassette tapes to show or illustrate the thirteen (13) reasons that made Hannah have to commit suicide. As at now, I personal think that is the best title the author could have named that novel. Maybe that will change as I get into the reading, who knows.

1st Blog After Spring Break.

I was not so happy about how Liar ended because I still had so many questions unanswered. So during my spring break, I decided to explore the internet and read some reviews on the book. I went to http://justinelarbalestier.com/blog/ which is the author of Liar, Justine Larbalestier's official blog page. Here you will find many reviews of the book, how people feel the ending should be and their personal opinions. I got a chance to read some of the reviews and well that kind of comforted me. Justine herself actually said the reason she has no specific ending to the story is because she wants all her readers to create their own ending stories in that way no one is disappointed by the way the story ends.
The other cool part of the website is that you get to learn about the author herself through interviews she has had, bibliography and frequently asked questions, asked by her fans. If you have any questions or comments about the book you can go to the website and write to the author herself. She will not answer any blog comments or questions that have to do with spoiling the storyline behind Liar.

HISTORY OF ME AND MY FAMILY

Hey, my name is Micah Wilkins. I went to a small, progressive high school which costed a lot of money but not as much as the uptown schools. The white kids were rich and the black kids were on scholarships. I’m not a racist, that’s how it was.

My Father’s name is Isaiah Wilkins and my mother is Maude Bourgault Wilkins. My father is black and my mother is white. I have never met my mother’s relatives because she was adapted and hated her family so she decided to run away. Dad grew up with two crazy white ladies. He went to France when he was eighteen, worked his way over as a merchant marine, which he hated. He met mum and brought her back to New York with him. Mum is now a French school teacher and dad is a magazine writer (journalist).

I had a brother, Jordan but he died when he was 10 and I was 12. Jordan and I had a relationship most siblings have with each other. We hated each other literally. I killed Jordan like I promised him I would but I din’t mean to, it was an accident. I blame my alter ego, the wolf in me. I’m sure every one has one but my takes a lot of control over me.

I would like to tell you that I have good memories of Jordan but that would be a lie. He was such a brat. I wondered why my parents loved him so much. Even after his death, they still loved him as much as they did when he was alive. They still celebrated his birthday with a cake shaped like a dinosaur because he loved dinosaurs. One thing they din’t realize was that at the age of six, he had moved on to loving pirates. By the time he was dying it was all about superheroes especially batman. There was always cake whether we could afford it or not. I had to wish my dead brother happy birthday, eat his stupid cake and pretend to like it. OMG the anniversary was worse. We never wear black but instead wore bright colors. This meant that I was stuck wearing one of mum’s summer dresses that day.  We ate his favorite food, hot dogs, and then share our memories of beloved Jordon. I don’t miss a single thing about him, so every year I have to come up with something new. They love him more dead than they’ve ever loved me, even if I am the living child. I know you think I am jealous of the relationship he had with my parents, maybe I am. My parents said they loved me, kissed me goodnight, let me live in their home and eat their food, but it was all pretend and that hurt me most. My parents stopped loving me a long time ago. Apart from his birthday and anniversary, it was like Jordan never existed.

http://www.fotosearch.com/photos-images/sibling-rivalry.html

SIBLING RIVALRY

http://www.life123.com/parenting/toddlers/siblings/causes-of-sibling-rivalry.shtml 
http://www.lifescript.com/Life/Family/Parenting/Dealing_With_Sibling_Rivalry.aspx?gclid=COnF5JCj2acCFYvsKgodU1sd-A&trans=1&du=1&ef_id=u9ZNL9GDAAAAwI8:20110318233248:s http://www.calmerparenting.com/siblingsLandingPage.html

MY HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE

The first two days of my freshmen year in high school I was a boy thanks to my English teacher Indira Gupta. It all started on my first day of English class when she called me Mr. Wilkins and I din’t bother to argue with her and tell her that I was a girl. I was not surprised that she called me a boy because I had been mistaken for one before. This is because I wear my hair natural and short, cut close to my scalp. That way I didn’t have to bother with relaxing, combing and straightening it. Everyone believed I was a boy. Tayshawn Williams, Zachary Rubin and Will Daniels even befriended me and asked if I could play ball with them after school. I accepted because I am not your usual girly girl. I preferred running and playing basketball to going shopping and having an interest in clothes.

http://www.omghaircut.com/short-hairstyles/razor-cut-short-hair-styles.html

At the end of the second day, my secret had been blown. Sarah figured out that I wasn’t a boy when I laughed at Brandon slip off a banana peel in the cafeteria. As a result, my first and second weeks of my freshmen year in high school were bad. I was called to the principal’s office to explain myself. I told him that it wasn’t my fault but my English teacher’s. Either way I was punished to write an essay on why lying is bad.

After this incidence, Tayshawn was the only person talking to me. He actually found that funny. Will was less happy and Zach totally ignored me. Tayshawn had so many questions to ask and so I decided to spice up my explanation by telling him that I was born a hermaphrodite. Incase you don’t know, a hermaphrodite is an animal or human born with both the male and female private parts. I made him promise that he won’t tell anyone but I was hoping he did. Tayshawn kept to his words and din’t tell a soul. I then decided to tell someone else who would spread the news. Next thing I knew I was back in Principal Paul’s office explaining myself. Why would I want anyone to think I was some kind of freak? Because I wanted them to pay attention to me. My parents were contacted and they confirmed that there was nothing wrong with me. My second punishment was an essay on the virtues of honesty.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hermaphroditus_lady_lever.jpg

Zach and I never spoke to each other in school. The first time we met was in central park, under a bridge. Winter of our junior year, middle of the day, a week day, a school day. Of course I remember all that, not because it was the first day we met but because it was the day of my first kiss. Zach and I were a secret. No one knew about our relationship because he had a girlfriend.

Zach is now over ignoring me and wants answers to why I lied so much, about being a boy and born as a hermaphrodite. This was the one person I did not want to lie to because he suddenly meant so much to me. We were curled up on his bed when he interrogated me. I tried to give him answers but most of the time avoided his questions. We got closer every time we were together but I could not tell him everything about my life, I wanted to but I didn’t know how.

ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

http://www.avert.org/teens-relationships.htm 
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200109/can-men-and-women-be-friends http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/recognizing-the-signs-of-true-love.html

HIS DEATH, A DAY IN HELL

January, 25, I went to school with my father’s mask on and a forged note saying I had a rush and it needed to be covered. It was black leather painted with silver and unfurls at each corners like a fern. If someone told me that, that day would be the waste day of my life, I wouldn’t have even bothered listening to them. But guess what; yes it was the waste and longest day of my life. Principal Paul Jones came to class and announced that Zachary Rubin, my boyfriend, was dead.  Every girl in the classroom cried apart from me. My eyes were as dry as sand. After the announcement, we were all summoned to Jill Wang, our counselor. She told us that we were there to talk about what had happened and how we felt about it. During the session Brandon thought that it would be the right time to tell the whole class that I was Zach’s girlfriend. Zach and I actually kept that as a secret because he had an official girlfriend, Sarah, who everyone knew.  All eyes were on me. When the session was over, I ran to the bathroom, locked the door, lowered the seat and sat on it. It hit me, Zach is dead, his gone, I will never see him again all that’s left are thoughts and memories of us. A knock on the door, it’s Sarah. I opened the door, she stepped back and startled. I walked to the sink and rinsed my hands trying to avoid her. As soon as I was done she moved and stood against the exit door. I went over to the dryer and dried my hands trying not to hear what she had to say. After I was done I walked towards her and she moved away. School has always sucked for me but that day was a day in hell. Everyone was staring at me, the seniors, the freshmen, the teachers and even the administration. I even got the ‘slut’ coughs as I walked past some students.

During this period, I developed an interest in the decomposition of dead people. This is what happens, the blood and oxygen stop flowing through the body. Gravity causes the body’s blood to drain from the capillaries in the upper parts to the lower blood vessels causing parts of the body to go pale and dark. Next the cells cease aerobic respiration and energy production is stopped. Calcium ions leak into muscle cells, preventing muscle relaxation, which causes rigor mortis. Reading about the decomposition actually made me feel at peace. It was comforting. I was not in denial about Zach’s death, I was just afraid that I would forget him. His touch, his lips, his face and even his hands on my skin. I don’t want to forget him. I sometimes think of joining him in death. But I can’t, something in me won’t let it happen. Our bound was so strong because I slept with him not once but many times. We explored every inch of each other’s bodies. It was like a pull of magnets, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. He was my first.

DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

http://www.righthealth.com/topic/Death_Of_A_Loved_One?p=l&as=goog&ac=519&kgl=19823662

http://www.healthyplace.com/depression/grief/helping-yourself-and-others-deal-with-death/menu-id-68/

http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/10things/10-tips-for-dealing-with-change-in-the-workplace/257

LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND AND LIVE IN THE PRESENT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkVSUPcNQIo&feature=fvst

This link is to a video that is similar to what I went through in my past life.

I went to trial for the murder of Zach and even went to prison for a couple of months. I wanted to escape because I couldn’t handle it. Before I knew it, I was being transferred to a mental hospital because the judge found out about my past Jordan incidence he anticipated that, that was what was right for me.

The hospital was a much easier place to escape from but the question was once I get out where do I run to? My parents did not want me; I had no money, no shelter and no food. After some time of thinking and planning my escape I finally did it. My first destination was to head to my high school so I could talk to Yayeko Shoji, my biology teacher. She was the only teacher I could trust. When I arrived at my high school, I tried to avoid everyone. I stood a street away and waited for Yayeko to step out of the school doors. I followed her till she turned onto west Broadway when I decided to approach her. She was shocked to see me because I was a mess and my parents had told her that I was in an accident and in hospital. Out of self pity, she allowed me to stay with her for a while. I met her daughter and mother. It wasn’t long enough till I was back in that hospital and this time I just decided to stay there and deal with it because I had no life outside. My mother wrote to me but I never wrote back. I have friends and family here, I call them cousins because I cannot remember all their names. My room was tiny. The kitchen was along one wall, the bed along another, a desk and a bookshelf along the third wall.

I am happy now. The injection I take every three months make me feel brand new. I am the person I wished I had been before but I guess things happen for a reason. I am now in college, studying biology and dating a new guy. Who knew that I could fall in love again? This doesn’t mean I have forgotten about my high school love Zach. Like I said before, he was my first. I loved Zach so much. Every minute of everyday I ached for him but it is now time to move on.

Tayshawn and I stay in touch, he is at MIT. Sarah doesn’t write to me but I know she was accepted to Harvard.

Everyone that is now a part of my new life knows about my past. That’s the only way to start a new beginning. I know you are wondering about my parents, well they are not a part of my new life because I am not ready. I haven’t spoken to them since the day they abounded me in that hospital. I do not want to be associated with their negativity. I always wish them the best. I do not hate them. I just dislike the fact that they never loved me. I live in Buffalo now so I have an excuse not to feel guilty about it.

http://photobucket.com/images/couples/?sortby=sevendaysview

http://view.buffalostate.edu/main.php?g2_itemId=28137&g2_a=24369

Buffalo Community College

My new boyfriend & I